He

Undone by the will of the brokenness in you
forbidden to the mighty false of the true
innate by dreams in the cage i fly 
swearing to rip the spears high and dry
carved will be mountains and lands be shaped
when i set out to tame todays date
in me i will hold the truth
for nothing but true be true
be lost in times of the glorious insignificants of life
and be known to roam all alone
with Him ill fight and the war be mine
and nothing but victory shall suffice your lies 
for suffered have i long and forgone
mercy and pain i don't feel at all
assassin in me,shadows i tear
lightning may strike and i be feared
I be Him and He be a he
for i be the one and mighty He

What this world says

They say i have got my friends back,
they say i have got all my friends back,
for somehow more lonely now i feel...


They say happy i seem,
they say more happy i seem, 
for all but there's pain in me..


They say my life is good,
they say my life's been good,
for never have they seen me crying till dawn...

They say a lot i speak,
they say lots i speak,
but with the fear of silence, i am marred in me....


They say lively i am,
they say lively i be,
but the dead i have buried beneath...


They say nice i am,
they say nicer i seem,
yet the Satan sits tight in me...


They say decent i am,
they say decent i seem,
for all i know, inadequate i have been...


They say in love i am,
they say loved i am,
for all, only this, seems true to me....

Please please!

(Read slowly understanding each word)


For twenty one years I have trodden this world,walked haplessly to and forth,
No day seems to pass unreminding of the fact of this, very ordinary walk...
Yet all i do is walk forth each day,and bray as i chew on my soul,
Ironic it seems to say to have a soul at all,for in me none but marbles i hold...


Rewind, a button in my life He seems to press quite a lot,
Each fall reminds of the one before and shameless i trod on for more...
One should learn from his mistakes is a common saying,
Yet none seems true to me, for life is a joke and I am the mocking...


Forward i try to take myself with new vigor and spirit each time,
To make amends to my broken tale and be seen in a new light...
To not be judged in a glance and be stuck onto it,
I wish to make all happy,yet in all i end standing out bare and lonely...


Someone wise has said - to stop pleasing all , is the secret to one's success,
Yet now i ask what if my chromosome airs me to believe in such caress...
For how do i change and be a me that i only cant be with,
And stand out in a crowd and not be just a patch with width...


In lones and frays, mercies and prays,i stand on my knees,
For crippled by life,and undone by lies, I still believe in me...
My head up high and hopes alive, I WILL stand on my feet....

Love the Eyes

Eyes, her eyes, one look,one contact is all i asked for

Another dawn to be witnessed before My sun had rose

In her all, i saw through them, a mirror of me i saw in them

I can sit looking into, for hours at a stretch and still yearn for more

I could live in them ,make a small adobe and be content

Yet far away they are,oh let them come to them

Let them see me, let them feel me, let them forgive me

Why is this pulling me to craziness oh tell me why

Why cant i live in a normal lie, why her truth seems to ponder on me

Why her innocence seems to put a spell on me

Asked her why,but to no reply

Then i asked Him ,he too stood there smiling,shaking his head

What wrong did i say,what wrong did i make

Mine i wished them from Him,but still whats in them

Ran i, fast as fast as my head could carry me

No stops ,no breathing till i reached them and they looked into me

The me, in those miracle eyes, for they had changed me within

They had erased all pain, erased all i stood not for

Today too i sit by her side and stay mum, while she chats for none and all

I just look into those globes, brown and gleaming in my eyes

Globe of magic and wonder, a code non had deciphered till data

A mystery none had uncloaked till date, but to find the reason was not my aim

Only to have them and live in them for i can sit unshamed

Call me a fool call me a joke but in love i am,in love i sing and dance

Love and love it is for the eyes are my food and my home within.

The Walls

Uneasy i sat, longing for the watch to tick faster
Nothing seemed usual, everything out of place and then
It all starting moving, my head spinning madly
My world grew smaller and i more breathless
Sweat smeared my lungs and clothes stuck as with glue
Hands trembled and colours faded,all light seemed soaked


Claustrophobic i am,and horrible it feels, relentless and unforgiving
All senses leave hope ,non functioning they grope
As if a wait started for the tunnel to end but it seemed so long
The mind got to the verge where pain had no meaning
It was about to burst and burst it would,
Prayed it may happen soon, for may not I fall into a black abyss


I breathed,breathed heavily with each harder to take
Forced down as more air was inhaled
The cornea dilated and in snow i stood
It was white all over,so white i just could not look
With indistinguishable whites and no scent 
Nothing i could touch and all dry it tastes


Help me out!!! Help! Help! Help!                            (voice growing louder)
I cried out for long but only echoes came back
Then the walls grew smaller again,tight, tighter
So tight i could not breathe, Help! Help! Help!         (voice going distant)


Are you okay,son, mom sat caressing my forehead
A kiss and some water relaxed the pounding heart
Awake i sat,eyes wide open,looked at the walls 
All in place they seemed, my parents picture hung smiling down at me
I looked up at her, smiled with relief and went back to sleep....

Blurred I Stood

Thinking of her i sat,legs crossed,head laid back and eye lids folded

it wasn't the memories but the happiness they holded....

All there and in them i sat,feeling i was hand in hand 

the despair of absence dissolved in her light of happiness...

The smile,the hair ,the melodies all unfolded

there was no rhyme, no rhythm to the music that flowed...

Slowly but steadily our moments passed by

and happiness and sunshine smiled in my eye...

Jumped up from my bed,i thought i was ready to fly

but all that flew were my glasses high and high...

Then like the apple that changed the world

it came down and thundered my world...

Its anti-scratch,anti-glare lenses multiplied all around

with my heart right in my mouth...

I am sure my heart skipped a beat

becuase a lurch is definatley what i could feel...

My Tag Heuers were no more

no more to purify the light that came through,

no more to skim the dirt that flew through,

no more they lay,no more ...

My nose felt alone,by ears light

and the intricacies blurred my sight...

Grief filled the world,the joy saw me no more

my world had lost its boundaries and borders dissolved...

The lights formed new design and colours hazy danced

I was none to be for i could not see my stand

Unwary of what was next to come,my fate had revolted and left me undone....

Outcry from a Cage

The shouting and cursing fill my ears, the clamor all around shakes my world

How but all suffocated I feel, unknowing but stabbed I feel

The pillow on my face seems heavier everyday; the breathing is heavier but alls in vain

Leave me, leave me alone, let me live, let me, let me breath by my will

Don’t take away what is most precious to me, let me be the bird I dream to be

Let me see and let me fall, let my world take control

 Let me break these shackles small and large, let me hear the pain of my harm

Don’t control me, I wasn’t to be, don’t foresee me I was always unseen

Don’t follow, I may lose you too and hold I may take you along

Animal I am not a beast is me, don’t tie me down or put a cell on me

Let these things seem unsavory or how, for don’t push me, I warn you don’t push me

Attack I will, if provoked too long, patience is a virtue not my only hold

For I may loose it ,for I may break it and come back at you so hard, promise wont let you feel a thing so u will harm no more

But I don’t want to sin, sin is not but a word framed by cowards, sin holds not for me, never

Don’t push me or I swear my hand shall rise with no despair

Don’t tie me down, down chain me up, don’t just don’t……..

MY ME

my dreams,my needs
my money,my greed
my wishes,my tweets
my love,my stuff
my hope,my rope
my things,my niece
my being,by me    :)
(havent put sumthing fun in a long time,read this again and fast   
:)    :D )

Haunted Lands

For days long and hard,i walked on a burning path...

For a misstep caused such hardship,a second of lapse caused the suffering...

I walked silent ,with the sun breathing fire upon me...

Was it the heat or the sweat or the memories that held me, mourned...

Was is it your care or your love that held me long...

I cannot see clear and right ,yet i walk the burning path with my lips sealed uptight....

With each step a fainter string got pulled and threw me back ,to memories aloof...

I do not care for what went wrong but to make no mistakes I pray to God...

As the sun rose higher and higher till it could climb no more...

I had worn out with my mind running at several knots...

As it began its descent I strode back and forth in time...

Measuring the the good and the bad which rhymed...

I cannot take it no more,i shouted yet none could hear my mourning soul...

Take me far ,far from these rotten lands and relations...

To take me far to where I can be hurt or held no more...

My final steps brings in a ray of peace but only to shadow me in the internal mutiny...

I cannot take no more i beg still...

But He just ignores me and watches the world spin...

Is it for this day i was born,for this living that i have fought so long...

These days and nights burn my roaring soul as i crash,

The shadows and lights char me to ash....

Longing for peace and seeking some land...

Land for where i may die in piece, a six by four is all i need...

To end there from where i stood and aspired...

Like my dreams and belief all need this land ...

So that i may sleep in her lap,while she caresses my back...

Take me within you let me die in peace,let me be born with no past of me.....................................

Why was i born?

Its been long since i wrote , that pain has left me
left me all the more longing for suffering and tears.
The light of gloom doesn't sizzle only my feelings seem to drip.
I know no right but lies that i speak of,
I know no life but the air i breathe of.
In days that pass my shoulders seam cracked,my thoughts are marred
and my life patched
For all i know i no not to understand them all,
only if you could answer for why was i born
why was i born,why,i have no sight or no thought i didn't cross
no tree no stone i left untouched
yet the mystery seems to walk far away and i only search the static
yet the dynamic in HIM has left me clogged
the sins i feel no sinner any more
the life feel no worth for anymore
death and breath go equal to me
just passing my time here ,i bless to be free
all love and life are lost i don't know for what i am bore
why was i born tell me o Know-all tell me
why was i born ,why were u born??
like a quiver of arrows,questions shoot at me
all the questions unsaid and unanswered
i am but a being of very little wisdom
my strength is weak and i shiver at the slightest of test
i wreck my being for i do understand why to for it is so
though none are answered it all goes to my pillow
again i wonder why am i asking these questions ,what for
why shouldn't i just walk the walk they all walk
i just think to break free,be a rebellion or even better a maverick i guess
do something no ones done stand out,be new,be looked onto
its this that seems to eat me up inside,to go that way or walk an empty life
why was i born?
or was it to this day to stand in the middle and question the lord
or for a purpose i don't see or cant fathom
maybe a higher calling beckons
what it is ,I'm ready to give my life
but wait isnt this the path i dreamt of every night
its all so confusing which thing may i choose
should i choose,do i have the right to choose
do i even have the right to ask
to ask as to why was i born
maybe ,maybe not